[Verse 1]
Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's to late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you


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|Monday, October 29, 2007

Full time dancer, part time student.
my dad keeps scolding me about tt...
i cant stop dancing... but on the other hand i dont know why i'm not improving despite the long hours... sian.

every time i hear the song dance by frankie j it reminds me of him. he's been gone for bout 4 mnths now... i cant help but to wonder sometimes where he really is, was he is doing. is he dancing in the other world?? or has he moved on to reincarnation. then i also wonder wat would it be like if he didnt leave... my thoughts just go wild...


This dance i'm not in it. but its really nice. =)

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:35 AM

|Thursday, October 25, 2007

i know this is super random.

you know if i were to start talking about all the bad things which are going on in my life rite now,
i think it can go on and on for many pages.

if you look back and my very first post. i promised to nv speak of any bad stuff here. broke the promise a few times but still quite faithful till now... this is a happy blog. But after reading everyone's blog... its kinda weird to only write happy stuff now. Would you say it is true that through reading ppl's blog you understand the person better and wat she/he is going through? Cos if it is then i gues most of you wont know me at all. hahaha.

why i chose not to write them here is maybe becos i'm not ready to show the entire world my emo shit....
or perhaps i feel i cant share it with some of you guys out there.

the end. bye bye.

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:09 AM

|Wednesday, October 24, 2007

WA... got alot to write..
i dunno where to start. =D

OKok. start with my birthday..
its was TOTALLY AWESOME!. hahaha..
Had msg coming in at 12. shhoooo swweeettt rite. then i woke up in the morning to recieve hell lot of birthday msg. mmoorreee sweet... then went online got more. and logged into friendster to get even more. =D damn. i feel so loved.. =))

Went to studio for practice after tt. And half way during practice my dope gang came in with donuts!! with candles on them.. yum yum. wa. so touched. hahaha. i liked the oreo one.. YUM.

Later we had a loonnggg discussion on whrere to have dinner. we still had to wait for the b-boy ppl to finsih their training at 8.30. There was like 3 hrs we got nothing to do. in the end... decided to come my place to have steam boat and tepanyaki. We went groccery shopping, prepared ans seasoned the food together. then waited for the rest to come and had dinner. Thanx so SAM. we had super delicious salmon teriyaki... she thaught us how to fry them. wa. damn shiok. Dinner was good.....

My birthday was really nice. dunno how to say thanx to you guys mann.. and to all those who took the extra effort to come down no matter how late it was.. i feel sooooo LOVED by my frens.

OK. moving onnnn...

i've been doing alot of thinking.
how am i to juggle dance and studies, frens plus maybe tuition at the same time.
i'm quite at a lose.
my gpa sucks.
i need to score well so i don have to compromise my dance.
here comes the question.
how to??
i need to score at least 3.2 for my next gpa. i'm quite sure if i do so, my parents will diam diam.
they'll let me do wat i want to do. and it could also mean more freedom since i can prove to them i've sorted out my thinking.
i have the sudden urge to prove to them all tt. but got no exam coming. -.-
i'm more afraid tt i'm feeling this too early. so wen exam really comes i wont have as much motivation as now. SIAN...

tired. i wish i had 48 hours in a day. i really do..


my ROOOOMMMM! i was suppose to revamp my entire room during the holidays. ok so nothing has been moved. =(
i've sourced out the furniture and stuff. now its kinda just cleaning up the room, then putting in the stuff. it sounds easy. butits really complicated... like wen to dismental the staff. where to shift my stuff temporarily.. balh blah. so many! arrgghhh.
see! i need 48 hours a day.

bye bye. time is running out! =)

the garden in my heart.messed.
8:29 PM

|Sunday, October 14, 2007

Past few days were as good. =D if only life can be like tt forever.
HHmm.. lets see. start with friday?

we: joycelyn, iris, corn,kat,jun wei, andreas, serene, beifang, sam, and myself... went ice skating.
hahaha.. all the way to juronf east k. and becos most of us had bus concession we decided to take the bus. the bus ride was freakin 2 hrs cAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! can die i tell you... torture mann. my butt hurt like hell. bei and i were also freezing cos our air con got no control.. -.-

We reached there had lunch and walked into the ice skating ring. wa lao! so crowded. hahaha... sam said lets go kbox instead. DOPE!.. come all the way to the west to go kbox?!?! in the end we went skating la. of cos...

Skating was fun. hahaha see some things we usually wont see in dance lessons. eg.. the super pro reggae dancer looking like a constipated chicken while skating. haha. she very cute la.
Some of them hard some hard knocks. (literally not figuritively) poor serene and iris. hard 2 wreckless drivers bang into them. some of us also fell. cos we were skating together. HENG i nv. i siam very fast. hahahah hehehhe.... they tried all means to make me fall. but failed. aiya must understand that fat ppl got better C.G. haha

SATURDAY was a lazy lazy day.
met joyce in the morning for mac breakfast than we went to do our hair.
weeeee i have soft straight hair now. =D
after that i basically spent the rest of the day at home..
packed my room... then went for dinner at nite. =)

sunday was as lazy. woke up late, went for guzheng...
came home slack. and then at nite went to see my aunty and uncle off.
ne funny thing happened.
wen they were going through the customs my uncle had to come out beco he brought something illegal. he said chilli sauce. then my cousin and i tot ok.. maybe just a small jar like those skippy peanut butter kinda jar. but instead wen he came out he took out this HUGE 3litre oil container fulll of chilli. HAHAHA. we laugh like crazy... hahahaahahha

Anywae, i'm gonna show you all the pictures from the soka performance. (courtesy of serene)

Thats about it. video coming sooooon hang in there ppl!

There's still the musical to be posted. =D

the garden in my heart.messed.
11:37 PM

|Thursday, October 11, 2007

Every day is full of activites...
hahah. life's good =) i like it this way..
but i'm also kinda sad i keep going out. its like i neglecting my family esp granny....
joey was quite curious why i'm still so family orientated. haha... i dunno mann. just love them alot. i've been home late for the past few days. always between 10-12. and my parents didnt say anything. its kinda making me feel bad. =(

Anywae. i've decided to keep saturday for them. just stay at home and let my presence be felt. and of cos have dinner together as a family.. my mum is going through some really tough times now. its about the family business... my heart aches to see her come home at 3 am every night... her eyes bags and panda eyes intensify. haiz.. ouch ouch ouch.

Tmr's going to be another day full of activites. first its off to the ice skating ring then joyce and i are going to soft rebond out hair.. =)

ANYHOW, i finally got the pcitures for my Sentosa Outing. =))

The beach =)

We sun tanned under the shade with sun block XP
The girlSSs
And the GuY.
poor jun wei. the other guys couldnt wake up on time. haha
he became our FHM photographer. =X
wanna see evidence?

my girl frens. me, sam, iris, joyce and serene

Kat & I

"I'm Bringing SEXY BACK. yep!"


i still have quite a few stuff to show. most of the photos are yet to come. =))

tts all for now.

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:21 AM

|Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Today was an AWESOME day.. =D

Let's see... i woke up late like always.. met joyce and andreas to go Karaoke.
At Katong, mei qi, jun wei, toh didi and wei rong were there...
was kinda shy initially. but got warmed up soon and we were all singing like crazy freaks.
zhao sia also don care some ppl like andreas and jun wei still so proud of it. HAHA... i tot was gonna be quite stress, or embarrassing to zhao sia. but. NAH... they made the environment so comfortable. we laughed at each others' mistakes. ahahah...

They were really really nice. to think tt usually they only would sing chinese songs but i was there and they know i hardly listen to chinese songs so they put in alot of english songs. though it was not hip and in-to-date eng songs, i greatly appreciate it. =D haha they put in all the back street boy, A1 and westlife songs la. hahaha still got wat barbie girl and zombie... -.-

after tt i met bei fang for LATIN DANCE. hahaha.. was happy... we learning RUMBA currently.. its cool. and the class is mostly youngsters like my age. and all from TP la. haha tts even better.. no need shy. i dance with danny can? the locker/popper. haha! he did rumba! omg. and its not bad la.. better then me. T.T

its so fun. cant wait for the next lesson. =) i wanna slp. tmr is packing day. haha. nite.

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:16 AM

|Tuesday, October 09, 2007

i must voice something out.
i don like talking about those stuff... i admit tt i contributed. but i'm feeling bad now.. its like, i'm going against my morals.

i said" maybe we should think of mitigating circumstances tt make her act this way.. we should think at a higher level.. not just talk bout her."

haha.. this comment somehow i felt it was brushed aside... no one seemed to even consider my words. haha.... i dunno mann..

kw said" we've passed your stage and moved on to just hack care. say wat we wanna say."

erm. passed my stage or below??
everytimr i try to think of a good reason why she does those things, corn says i'm siding her. =(
its not tt. its just i don wan it to become tt we misunderstand her... just worried.

maybe i'm really still stuck at a lower stage. just maybe....

the garden in my heart.messed.
11:00 AM

|Monday, October 01, 2007

Its kinda like the best few days i've had. =)

erm.. lets see... started with sat? i got picked out by GIN to dance! OMFG. how good is tt?!?! (btw GIN is my school dance instructor cum my idol) xD aahhh.. the tot of it still makes me go googooogaga!

FInally! after a month of wait i finally went for SHUSI with my frens. =) YUM YUM.

Sunday was even better... super fruitful. =D firstly, i finally managed to catch up with the loss sleep time becos of endless rehearsals. i slept till 1 =x hahaha. shiok mann... and nobody disturbed me at all.. except for my dog. who wanted to come into the room. -.-

Later we went for tea break.. Mummy wanted to go courts... the huge one at tampines.. i was kinda relunctant to follow at first, but then dad said i can go take a look at the furniture there.. see if there's anything i can get for my room. sadly nothing. BUT i got something BETTER... i didnt expect it.. haha. ITS MY NEW MP3! we went to see see only.. didnt know my dad just said if i like can buy now. its my early birthday present. hahaha.. so i got it! =)))) here let me show of for a while...

wat are buttons? its touch screen...

Today, i lazed at home.. nearer to late afternoon my maid and i went grocerry shopping at NTUC... it was for the nights' steamboat!

okok. steamboat was superb. super delicious....

on top of that,

mum bought hell lot of bags for me. she said it was cheap. 4 in total! hahaa! anywae, we found one that could fit my dog.

haha.. its looks damn koo koo rite? but cute.

thats about it. my wonderful days. i really feel fully charged up now. =)

the garden in my heart.messed.
8:09 AM