[Verse 1]
Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's to late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you


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|Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Ive never felt so screwed in my whole entire life before...
this is probably the first time in my life an illness has made me so tensed.

I fainted for the first time in my 19 yrs on Earth.
i was brushing my teeth and all of a suddenly i couldnt see anything and i was ramping into stuff i have no idea wat..
by the time my vision was regained, i was already on the floor, and in my head...
i just kept wishing ' daddy don come in, don come in, don come in...."

They have already suspected that im not okay, because of my long naps and deep sleeps.
but thankfully everytime they touched my forehead it wasnt hot..
If my parents knew i was running a fever i would be OUT of jim beam...
and everything else..

to be frank, im really afraid as of now,
if my fever doesnt go down by tmr, im SCREWED.
i'll be a suspect for HINI.
its kinda like the feeling im gonna be a rotten apple and ppl are gonna throw me in the dustbin.

i know its selfish for me to move around the place being sick and all,
its just really sad..
and i don want to pass it to my frens either..

the though of today'a fainting still kinda scares me..
maybe cos its my first.
please please please please let me get better by tmr!
i don wanna end up in the hospital!!!! =(

Im stronger than this!

the garden in my heart.messed.
11:50 PM

|Wednesday, June 24, 2009

This really made my day...=)
thanks suffi!

There's so much tension and stress building up..
to some point, i dont know when i might blow..

dance competition is friday..
we're not as good yet. just not.
i lost my double pirouette.. =(
i could do it. rite rite?
you guys saw! but its GONE.
i crashed so hard and so many times....
yeah. i laugh and stand up, but its quite sad. =/

IJ submission is also coming up...
haiz.. wat do i need to do to relieve the stress,
so i can chillax and do my work without the worries..
mum keep adding stress onto me.
she keeps saying this is my competition.
she keeps forcing me to say 'yes mum. it'll be my last.'
but no! i fred not! =/

so emomo posttt!!! i don like.
i wanna be happy! and cheerful.
its just difficult at times like this...
im sry...

the garden in my heart.messed.
10:04 AM

|Monday, June 22, 2009

Your view on yourself:

are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on educationEducation is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Quite true for me i feel? hahaha. =) i got this quiz from suffi's bloggg. here, you guys should try it.

Some part of the quizzes are really spot on. the thingy about heart solving rather than head? right right? my girls will definitely agree. hahaha...
and yea. i don waste time on ppl i feel i wont be able to clique with! =) totally!

The Real You

1.You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

2.You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

3.You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

4.Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

5.Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Anyhow, yesterday was the last day of the holidays...
hurrrrr.. wait can i say? was it even a holiday? i just felt like 2 weeks of no tutorials and skipped lectures. hahha. but since we're done with that, lets just move on.

i havent been updating the blog very much, should i?
all i can remember from the holidays was the sat night drinking, revogue training, expat scouting and class outing! yep. erm pictures next time? =)

The past 2 days were an absolute shocker for me... just totally saw through a person. lol! game OVER! i saw through you. so you can go on with your tiny game on other girls, i wont entertain you anymore! SUCK THAT! =DD feels good to win you know? =x

competiton is in 3 days, and submission for IJ is in 3 days, i have sooooo many things to do, and really really, just so little time... oh dear. there goes my sleep.
take care readers! swine is EVERYWHERE! =)

peace out -

the garden in my heart.messed.
1:43 AM

|Tuesday, June 16, 2009

past week has been hectic.

i really really feel detached.
somehow, i dont feel myself?

probably due to the many happenings, and worries.
i cant seem to lay my mind off the projects even wen its not project time.
somehow, it lives in the back of my head.

thank god for frens and events that help lay off the stress.
actually, i dont know why im so stressed up this semester.
i dont remember being like this previously... *shrugs*

came across serene's poll on her blog.
in a situation that your bf/gf has cheated on you, would you prefer the third party to be of the same sex, or the opposite?
my answer was same. meaning he(my bf) has become gay.
and 64% had the same answers as me. im pretty sure those are girls..
haha... and why thats my answer?
i dunno... probably would think its a less painful truth of accepting that your love is gay than sick of you.

Went to MG to choreo our competition piece.
as of so far, the team has been well...
but wen the gruelling trainings begin,
i dont know if we can be so 'world peace' anymore...

tmr's gonna be craaaaaaazy.
hosting a focus grp for the first time.
should i revise my pilot technic notes? hahahaha...
and following that is modern dance!
and finally heading out with my yr2s.
the awesome bunch of ppl who made me wash my floor 4 TIMES.

few more days till school reopens...
be happy chin=)

the garden in my heart.messed.
8:29 AM

|Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I've been so lazy to blog recently..
infact, i feel things are moving so quickly, i cant really recall wats been happening..

schools a pain in the ass.
for once i regret taking marketing..
while everyone else is havin their holidays and going overseas..
we're very much stuck here and have no freedom.
projects are tough shit.

some more with jim beam competition coming up,
i sometimes doubt is can cope.. =/

its such an emo blog entry to start of the holiday,
but seriiously, is it even a holiday?

yesterday was gabriel's p.o.p
its probably the first and the last im gonna attend...
becos... i have no brothers, or boyfriends going to the army.
hahaha. it was erm.. something to remember..

arrgghhhhh HOLIDAYSSSSS.
let the fun begin!! NOWWWW~

and just as i was beginning to open the doors,
i pulled back again.
it just seems, i cant trust the person enough.
i'll always have one foot on the ground,
falling and waiting to be caught just aint my type of game.

there's modern later!!
woooooo. its gonna be fun.

the garden in my heart.messed.
12:27 AM

|Monday, June 01, 2009

WE're 1/3 way through with mid sems.
hang in there!

Have you ever felt a distant with a person wen you're with them?
how do you break the barrier?
cos i know we get along very well,
its just that in person, something feels different.
how ah?

This morning i handed joey the money from our work.
it felt like mummy giving her daughter money.
hahahaha. ok.

i feel like eatin the beancurd tart at bencoolen street.

3 more days 3 more days.

I hope our talk will solve things.
we wouldnt be talking i we didnt cared.

i know you readers probably don have a freakin clue wat all this about.
you what,
me too...


the garden in my heart.messed.
1:20 AM