[Verse 1]
Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's to late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you


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|Monday, December 31, 2007

I'm sick. =( fever..
Wat a nice way to countdown to the new year. -.-

Past few days werent too good.. But it was good too... i dunno man.. i'm confused myself.
Good stuff.
sat night i had steamboat with my entire family... we went to the hainanese steamboat at beach road.. granny came along. becos of tt i'm already happy. then on top of that, that night she enjoyed herself very much. for that i'm 10 time happier. i guess cos the place was hainanese.. much talkin was done in hainanese, so she understood them. i could see the small smile on her face throughout the whole night.. the food was good too.. she ate alot. =) usually she's very pessimistic. to she her like tt, really made me happy...

Mum, sis and i shopped alot at the metro warehouse sale. lots of stuff there all quite cheap. =) i like things tt way. i'm cheapo. hahaha... i got lots of stuff.. make up, heels, hand bags, wallet. but no clothe. the clothe there not nice... very aunty. =s my sis and i shopped for our dad. bought him 2 polo tees... then sis bought like 2 shirts for her boyfriend. mum was busy.. too busy. haha..

stupid flu and cough... it has been bothering me for the past few days.. past 3 nights i didnt have a good sleep cos in the middle of the night i'd wake up with block nose. it made my sleep very tedious... finally last night i told my mum to give me medcine that makes you drowsy.. and thank god, i had a good night's rest. though fever is still on, its better then block nose. i swear.
dunno why, i cant seem to dance well.. i'm going through that ' i suck at dance' thingy AGAIN. i wanna improve. wanna perform at studiowu's evoke next yr. just afraid i'm good enough.
guzheng concert is on the 12. dunno if i'm prepared or not.. haven even memorise my scores yet...

dunno to be happy or sad-
i get a long better with older ppl....
i spent 41 bucks on 2 tops at fox. mum paid for it... i feel bad!! but then she was the one who wanted to but them for me..

i'm crazy... so many emotions. this is wat happens if you constantly survive on panadol for 4 days.

i'm going bACK TO BED.

the garden in my heart.messed.
2:06 AM

|Friday, December 28, 2007

busy busy busy. busy like bumble bees...
Past few days were packed with lot of activities.

hhmm.. lets start with TPDEs' Christmas celebration...
Erm.. wat can i say..
we played cherrates ( i think its spelled tt way) as usual.. always funny... basically, there are 2 groups and each grp will come up with a list of words for the other group to act out. then its group members must guess the word. group with the shortest time wins. =) We killed the seniors with the 'meet the spartans' hahaha... it was crap la! and they killed us with 'char kway teow add hum mai dao ge' HAHAH! wth!!!! there were lots of funny ones. but my goldfish memory cant recall them. haha. sry!
after that we played other dope games. and got 7 complains from the residents. haha! the guard guarded us. (i'm rolling my eyes now) their just jealous they cant have fun like us on boxing day. haha... later, stayed at joeys' place and we celebrated her Bday! Had some heart to heart talks then went to bed. =) awesome day. =D
some pictures to make you readers jealous! muahahahaha...

oh i think i forgot to mention sam's dad fetched us there in the lorry. DAMN COOL!

you get special privilleges wen you visit my blog. you get to see stuff you don usually do for example, joey in specs ! and the piggy thing HAHAHHA.

DIGRESSSION - i saw my face book and i was rated 7.8 % HOT. from 241 votes!OMG?!?! haha.

OKay. sry for tt, i was just too shocked. ANYWAE, shall continue on the next day.. joey joyce and i went to catch a movie. i am legend. the show was superb mann. good... though i seriously could have died half way from heart attack. and i might bring joey with me too.. cos i keep jumping off my chair and she got shocked too. HAHAHA! sry la... cant help it rite.. but there was this part my tears just couldnt stop.. it was wen the dog died... ouch mann. he was trying to protect his master. then got infected by the disease.. and the master tried to save him, but the injection didnt work, and he had to kill it himself.. haiz... ouch mann. poor thing. If i have to watch it a 100 times, i think i cry 100 times as well.. cant help it too. i have a dog i super love. yeas.. tts why i can understand the feeling. Later, they came to my place to slack... supposedly wanted to go dance at studio WU later. but in the end i remembered bout my dinner at my tutors' place then joyce was tired, so only joey went. Ok. dinner at my tutors' place was filling! the food just kept coming.. it was like dish after dish... after main course, got fruits then cheng teng then choclates ( the super heavenly and sinful ones!!! i coundNT resist and ate 4 =x) tt wasnt the end k! she took out the cakes she made, plus prawn crackers. MY GOODNESS! i felt so guilty after dinner. we talked eat and laugh continuously from 7 -11 plus. amazing eh. it was really fun. cant wait for our chinese new year meet up. =D

Today, we had dance training from 9am to bout 7 pm. HIONG rite! started of bad.. i fel feverish in the morning.. so i practicall survived on panadol today. then was suppose to meet for breakfast. in the end becos ppl late, we coundnt have any. i did lots of thinking again...

some times i wish i' not so mature.. then maybe i can be happier... but tts being stupid. wtf. ANywae, back to dance story...Morning was tough, we were punished cos of 2 ppl.. one who always came late, say he will change but nv does. we did push ups. and he was forced to watch. 100 in total for guys. but girls were allowed to do less.. after tt he did the push ups on his own too.. come on la i think we ALL will appreciate more if you just come on time next time. thanx. =X we learnt 3 new choreo today.. the summer love, gothic/punk ( which was freaky) and last night. whoo! finally learnt tt. i've always wanted too. sooo happy. =) really very shiok. i only rested during lunch after tt was dance all the way.. i didnt even sit on the floor to slack k. haha.. feel so motivated now. ( and i burnt hell lot of calories today.. i'm sure) . i scrubbed myself with lots of soap today... seriously srub. feel so clean now. aahhh... :) ok.. i'm tired. tmr got training again! nite!

the garden in my heart.messed.
6:02 AM

|Tuesday, December 25, 2007


This years' christmas is crazy.. i Went to orchard on christmas eve with my dance mates..haha. i joined them quite late. like 9 plus? then we headed down to somerset. its was crowded.. but not as crowded as i expected though... i tot we had to like jostle our way throughout the night. but, it wasnt so bad.. =) We slacked a little at spinelli. haha... i was so excited. it was my first time in orchard on christmas eve... i so wanted to get my hands on the snow spray... its our defense waepon. hahaha. I was kinda scared too.. you know, hearing all the molest cases and ppl spraying snow into your eyes, then grabbing your boobs kinda story. plus it was the banglas who did them. disgusting.. oh well, 11.45 we went out looking for snow spray seller. after searching like so long.. NONE! sad =(( it hit 12. we counted down... then got sprayed by ppl!!!!! and we got nothing to spray them back! hhmmph! anywae, our search continued after that... FINALLY! we found one. haha got 6 cans for 10 bucks. i shared with iris... 3 each. the first thing we got it, SPRAY PANG YANG!!! haha... he had to walk like 3 meteres away from us. then ever time he tried to tell me something i spray him. HAHA. fun. =X

Walked to outside heeren, and saw a huge crowd circle. WA! must be dance.. so we went to see.. WTH LA. the stupid indians grinding one another. EEWW mann. seriously.. EWW. we were so ready to walk in and do an air freeze already mann.. but just as we were goin too the ppl stopped the music. i think they also buay tahan the indians. hahaha... they really know how to party mann...
As we walked along the streets, suddenly wen someone sprayed anyone of us, the whole of our grp will go spray them back. it was fun! a tinsy bit scary cos i scared later fite. but nah... everyone was out to have fun. and we tried not to play with the small ah bengs, they got no brains for nuts. i ate quite a bit of 'snow' disgusting lo.. taste like mama lemon.haha.
i reached home at like 2. surprisingly, the trains weren't crowded. in fact it was empty! KW had all the space he had to do funny stuff on the train. haha. -.-
today, christmas day... i spent my entire day watching korean movie. HA. sian... nvm i got my christmas party tmr. and i'm stayin over at joey's house after tt. YAY! i can finally stay over... i was in a super good mood, i gave my mum a 1/2 hr massage. haha... =) [permission was given by my dad not mum] .

Anywaes, i'm worn out. will blog again soon. =)

the garden in my heart.messed.
8:03 AM

|Sunday, December 16, 2007

CHRISTMAS is coming!!!!!!!!!
yay. yay! YAY!
i love the atmosphere of this time. =)

Dance was a killer once more.
We did dance hall. Supposedly called reggae now.
But Gin said singapore know nuts bout reggae... O school started it. and know they have to stop it. reggae has a super super long history... and hence, no one can really dance reggae, unless you're part of the jamaican culture.

Founded in 1973.
By a jamaican guy in brox, new york, United states of America.

I'm tired... had like spliting head ache the whole of today... tmr still got guzheng..I'M HAVE MY TERM BREAK. WHERE AM I STILL SO FREAKIN BUSY! AARRGGGH.

slp slp slp slp. i wan slp...

the garden in my heart.messed.
7:04 AM

|Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Stupid mosquitoes.
Irriating MOsquitoes.

THey are soo picky with their food.. my sis, mum and i sleep in the same room. yet only i get bitten. 9 TIMES! WTHH.
It quite gross cos 7 of them are on the same hand. the other two is on my legs... i feel like rubbing chilli on my skin on day. let them bite then die from the spicyness.

Some time has passed.
i Still feel the distance though... i kinda feel in the dark, like not really knowing wat certain thing means when they do certain things... It sux. some times its like if joyce and joey arent going, i don feel like going either. cos i know i'll be left out. and its uneasy to keep pushing myslef into their clique. Call me sensitive. watever. but i cant stop the way i'm feeling..

Whats the point of calling yourself a grp wen you're not in it together already?

My room's almost done! finallllyyyY =) i have so many things i wanna do after the mid sems. my calender is already 7/8 filled. majority being dance training.. as much as i want to train for concert, i also want seom time to relax.. oh wells. will see how...

i Dont like blur innocent naive girls. thats just the nice way of saying it. if you say it in bad ways, you can substistute those with low- awareness, self centred and ignorant. YA... so if you think you are one of them you better change. cos i'm really starting to despise you! hahaha. Why do guys like them anywae? cos it makes them feel bigger. more MAN. haha pui la... after awhile you just get sick and irritated of her constant reliance on you. then you'll just wanna quickly fling her off. I'm i not rite?

Dance on sat was tiring... we did the girls hiphop.. GIN didnt give us any water break and we were all like half dead.. After wne its was the guys turn, a few of us went to the squash court to practice with our heels on. MY HEELS BROKE. =( but... it also means i can get a new one! HAHAHAHA... =X

the garden in my heart.messed.
12:08 AM

|Saturday, December 01, 2007

long post ahead! =)
PAst few days has been very hectic.
busy busy busy busy.
midsem examinations are in a weeks time and i'm not even half prepared! aaahhh!
I"m happy bout one thing. ok.. its not happy. its VERY happy.. =D
Went for bryan's dance class on thurs day. i got picked out by him once more. 2nd time! =) This time i didnt screw it up. second class my brain was kinda shut down. and the ppl who got picked p are much better then me. so i guessi haven reach tt standard yet. Bryan personally came and praise me!!! he said i improved alot since the last time he saw me. hahaha!!! =D =D =D Great i'll continue workin hard.
O school recital was nice. =) (excluding the part that my butt hurt, munb legs and over-strained necks)
Kinda regret that we didnt get a better place. missed out on all the cool breakin acts. =( Anywae it was a good one! cheers to tpde o crew ppl!
After the exams would be intensive training for our next yr concert. I'm happy so far cos i've been selected into all the dances that she's been choosing ppl for. =) GHAMPETTE! (i think its spelled that way)
Dance seems to be on the good side for me recerntly... once in awhile you will feel like you totally suck at dance. but its all part and parcel of the dancing process i guess. most importantly is you have to over come it.. i have so many frens who are putting down all their other stuff to focus on dance. so many! as much as i want to build my dancing passion.... i have my limitations. =( so many other commitments to satisfy... expectations to hit, ppl to make happy. than me eh? i dunno mann... i've alsways been the ave person in every aspect.. tired already. i wanna cut down on some commitments... but i know it'll result in unhappy ppl which will lead to a unhappy me... so let go or don let go?
JOyce sent me this over te email... haha. i don really know if tts wat ppl would think of me as much as i'm trying to potray it. TELL ME wat you feel!!

41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them u p and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
true? haha.
bye bye. =)

the garden in my heart.messed.
11:14 PM