[Verse 1]
Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's to late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you


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|Sunday, June 29, 2008


i guess. i have been sooooo wanting a break because of all these pent up emotions.
i need to get them out. i still cant breathe. i realised.

As much as i wanna force it out and go for some treatment to forget them.
its impossible.
cos i cant. i dont know how to.
dont assume anything in my blog.
its just general...

Let's talk about PRINCIPLES.
i have my own set of principles.
rules which i feel are essential if you want to succeed in life.
These rules were set up by myself, during my sec3 and sec4 years.
Mostly during my leadership journey.
i came to realise that as a leader, you need to have a set of principle you can abide by and you expect ppl under you to abide by. my rules are simple.
1. Punctuality.don be late for more then 15mins.
3. do not EVER cross the line. (know your limits)
4. listen to what ppl have to say, and accept it.
5. learn how to empathize.
I'm no longer in a leadership position now, and hence may not show these principles vividly. but they are always, forever at the back of my head, reminding me who and what my dad has taught me to be.
i guess these points have also caused me to be 'bad' in others ppl's eyes.. Firstly, i lose respect very easily and quickly for ppl who are CONSISTENTLY LATE. my tolerance level is also quite low. haha. and i dare not open up to ppl of higher authority cos i might get to friendly and cross the line.
Everything has its pros and cons. am i not rite?
I speak for myself. (the way i view things) If i'm a leader, or anyone with influenctial power, i would be ashamed of myself if i can fulfil these rules. Afterall, they were set by me rite? haha.. And i of cos, would not expect my friends to respect me as much becos i cant even follow the rules i set.
Usually when you're given a status/power, ppl respect you like 10/10. then as days go by, they only remmeber the bad things you do, and they respect you 8/10, 7/10, 5/10.....Don blame them, cos its only human. Its tough to be a leader... No one said it was easy... If you cant do it, dont. if you cant be a teacher, don teach. if you cant be an artist, don draw. the concept is as simple as tt.=)
i wouldnt say my leadership journey has ended. it has just started. I'm in an observatory role now. =)) watch and learn. learn the good and learn from the bad. i'll be adding more rules to my list of priciples.
you guys should have one too.=)
it organises your life.
Makes your life feel more worthy.
and reminds you of who you are.=))

feeling better.

the garden in my heart.messed.
11:09 AM

|Saturday, June 28, 2008

Finally, a time to breathe..

Forgive me for not updating this blog for a week!
this whole week was hectic like crazy.

wed- consumer behaviur submission
thurs- Psycho submission
fri- FAOM submission
Sat- SGDF Latin competition

i really feel super relief. its like o level is over! (although there was no o level)
It also explains why i havent been able to blog.
oh wells, next week is another gruelling week as all the results come back.
plus i have to submit another 2 more things!
TIAN AH.... save me...

As for now, lets talk bout yesterday.
i didnt go for training cos i really really needed the break.
andd thank god i didnt cos i heard something happen..
hearing from those who told me, i think i might get very affected over it.
Thank goodness too, becos i didnt go, i could focus my enegery on the latin competition.


luckily, i didnt sign up.
i guess looking at them, i'm really nothing.
Though i could see some noobies, whom i feel are very respectable cos they got the courage to go up there and compete on the dance floor.
it will be my turn soon, maybe end of this yr=)

i was really proud of my friends.
though only samantha and mike made it to the semi-finals, it was awesome enough!
Congrats to Darren and partner who won like freaking 3 MEDALS?!?!you guys were awesome! totally burned the dance floor.=D
jas and ryan were good too k.

it was a tough competition among the grade Es.

I had most anxiety and excitement when the grade As competed.The winner of the round would represent singapore in the sea games, olympics etc.And my favourite couple won!!! woohooo! good for them =))

Here's a shout out to all who are interested in competitive latin dancesport. We will be organising a one day course to let you guys have a feel of what competitive latin is like. We also hope that you can join us in our trainings at Shawn and Glady's dance world. Do contact me ASAP for details of time and location. =D

the garden in my heart.messed.
11:53 PM

|Monday, June 23, 2008

3 things to be happy about today!

FIRST and most happiest is tt my granny is home! =D
though i saw her coming back with tonnes of medicine (ouch)
i'm still happy that at least she's back home...

SECOND happeist thing of the day...
MY SIS IS BACK IN TOWN!. wooohoooo.
and she bought lots of food for me!!!!!!
no. i'm not gonna bring to sch to share with you all. hahah! =x
accept for the coffee i promised joey dear. ^.^

THIRD psycho video looking good...
i hope we can do well.=)
and i'm starting to like my grp mates. =)

thats about it, though i have many more worrying things to think about,
i just wanna stay happy for now.
so i'll procrastinate them.

free hair dye tmr!!! weeeeeeeeeee.
i've not been so happy for days!

the garden in my heart.messed.
8:53 AM

|Wednesday, June 18, 2008

popo got admitted into the hospital already..
she said she had headache... and all sorts of other ache
we didnt know wat to do.
we didnt dare give her other medicine cos it might mix with her current ones.
i gues its best to leave her in ppl with better knowledge.

dad said the doctors will be doing a brain scan for her tmr.
its to check if she has any internal bleeding from her fall tt day..
god pls help her.

i suddenly have so many frens losing people they love recently.
i counted about 4 frens whom are close to me lost someone.
i cant help but think.
will it be my turn soon?
and will i be able to take the pain of loss?
cos frankly, i dont know...

i think the tables have turned..
this earth is no longer a good place.
it has becom a place of pollution, hatred, selfishness and viciousness.
who ever has left. was because their good.
and god has given them the chance to leave before more earth quakes and tsunamies.
before more heat strokes, cold burn, and mosquitoes bites.

i dont mind dying..
i just wanna know wats on the other side.

i'll pray hard that popo is fine.
buddha pls help her..

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:53 AM

|Tuesday, June 17, 2008

today is full of ups and downs..
it started of bad ='(
cos i was awaken when my maid shouted that my popo had fallen.
she wasnt looking good..=(
she's sick...

in the afternoon, i met up with my ex classmates.
4 of us had a good time eating.
i was soo full i tell you.
i bought a chain at dive for $6! its nice=)

then i went to sch for dance..
i wasnt in a very happy mood.
i dunno why, i guess cos i couldnt catch the count?
and i looked very all-over-the-place when i dance.
i was also a lil turned of wen you know, its your responsibility but yet you take things so lightly kinda situation. ya...

After dance steph and i had a good laugh over not letting each other fall into food temptations.
we'd promise to slap each other. and once in a while i would glance her way to see if she had any
'i am tempted' look on her face. haha.
then we started talking bout having bbq gathering at my place. and also celebrating all the june babies birthday this sat.

then.... my phone cocked up.
i couldnt call home. i was locked outside for quite sometime..
felt scared =/
after i finally got in, aunty said popo is still not feeling well.
i helped her rub her tummy and back..
haix.. i dont undertsand god.
ppl work so hard from the start of their life.
and when their old, all they want its to be happy and peaceful.
but then, he gives them all this sickness and pain.
its not fair. its so nOT FAIR!.=(

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:26 AM

|Monday, June 16, 2008

Yesteday's reunion was TOTALLY AWESOME!!
damn! i really miss those crazy times..
come to think of it, in poly we're really given alot of freedom now.
last time in sec sch, its like the slightest thing and you need to hide from abraham.
like wat? hair band diff colour only...

i miss them alot alot.
i miss them more now after yesterday...
we talked bout things we did...
erm.. where who sat where..
and tried guessing who isnt here..
quite a no. of us turned up. and its 15 buckss. knowing the guys, if it had not been 2 yrs, they'll complain too ex.
it was still very much the same. guys in their own world, girls gossiping.
the hong giap gang was here, the 3 pillars, class committee, prefects and fired prefects=x(haha!)
amazing how time flies by. 2 yrs already.
all the guy who can put on weight, put on weight.
alllllllllll the girls LOST WEIGHT! wooohoooo!
irfana and mas are so slim and SEXY la!
huiting too. and even sze min. cannot lose already still lose! aiyo. like chopstick.=x

it obvious to see who doesnt want to come.
you'll regret for those who didnt come. say expensive and all.
the food was good.. the ppl were great. wat more can you ASK?
oh wells. i had my fun.

gtg now!
pictures will be up soon!=D

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:55 PM

|Saturday, June 14, 2008

i just wanna say WATEVER.

i guess our standard will not be going anywhere better.. especially when the main ppl cant even abide to their punctuality rules.
thanx for motivating me to arrive late next time. now i'll always have the excuse ' you all also everytime late' to back me up=)

project mates see me as a pain in the ass.. it becos i cant commit a time to meet up.
damn... i feel sry, i feel bad=(
but wat can i do?
they wan us to commit to the rehearsals but they don give us a time to commit to.
tt time was like tt. now also like that.
who's fault is it really to blame? its definitely NOT just one person.

that day we were suppose to have rehearsal..
THEY had stage mark.
we waited for 2hrs for rehearsal to start.
i couldnt care anymore.
it just takes 10 mins to come down to the studio to inform ppl.
tts all we needed.

stupid ANTS!
they are #$%^&*( irritating...
they infested a whole new pack of sugar..
guess how they did it?
they bit through the plastic and wriggled in.

people can be really really scary sometimes.
there's definitely a reason or a motive behind every action.
you must be careful of who you chose to trust, or esle be manipulted to hurt yourself.

i really wanna help her.
but i know, she wont listen..
and some part of me is saying that god made ppl differently.
some ppl will just be who they are forever.
i wanna help. but yet i know i cant.
i'm not in a right position. =/
oh wells.. i dunno wat to do.

i have freeaking havotic hormones..
can you stop changing and settle down already????
i'm so sick of constant outbreaks and humongous acnes!

nel says i needa lose weight to 47 to be a bgirl.
wa lao.
die already la..

the garden in my heart.messed.
7:01 AM

|Friday, June 13, 2008

i want my life to be better.

i watched sex and the city today..
at the end of the show...
it only left me with one thing...
i wished i had a circle of through friends where we'd hang out, laze. slack, cry, lament, rant, joke together... i don need a boyfriend. i just hope to find my true friends...
i have many frens.. and of some i'm really close to and trust alot.
but i think its too early to say if we're true friends.
i guess i, myelf is not ready to see ppl as my true fren too.. wat if it happens like the other time again. its wasnt a true friendship?

currently i feel like talking to someone, hanging out..
but my frens are busy.
as usual...
so i dont really know wat to wen i'm alone. besides watching tv, snacking, and studying.

i want my life to be better.

if only i could keep so many dogs, my room would be crowded.=D

the garden in my heart.messed.
8:08 AM

|Monday, June 09, 2008

JUST as i got all lovey dovey of rumba and the song you're currently hearing,
they used it for practice!!!!!

i feel my technique is so lacking behind.
the feel is there. cos i love this song!!!!
technique technique technique!!!

WCO was damn damn DOPE!
i loved the team from australia too.- kulture break. they sang and dance! and the dance werent those stupid easy steps. it was tough. can see...
and OF beloved TPDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so proud of them mann. i mean between 28 feet and them, they were almost the same! haha!
i thnk 28 feet. as individuals, their all goood... but somehow they didnt go well as a team.
it was kinda like everyone was fighting for attention. i didnt feel the bonds... expected more. =/
they hiped up the crowd like hell...
danny and jacky were damn good too.
i was amazed like.. imagine you're god. then you made ppl who could do stuff like tt.
i'll be freaking proud!hahahha...

today was fun.
i went back to the studio feeling really motivated.
i learnt some breaking from hazrul/nel/frank. (thanx boyzzz!)
then i learnt house from joey dear..
then i practiced the shade shiest choreo and got praised by serene! omg!=)
and i did popping and got praised by MARTIN!!! MARTIN leh!!!=DDDD

after dance we went for lunch, coffee and chilled out my place till 11!
It was just fun fun fun.
loe you peeps=)

and im super exhausted.
training tmr till 10pm.

the garden in my heart.messed.
8:54 AM

|Sunday, June 08, 2008

AAWWW.. finally.. i found the song.=)
nice yea? very sensual.
used for IDSF grand slam 2005. Rumba.

i've beeen waiting for today for like damn long!
finally its here! =D


latin practice resumes!
and of cos TBG!!.

i really really excited for the TBG ppl mann.
at the same time, i'm also anxious for them..
i've very much grown out of the pinch already..
wats left is the motivation to do better next year..
i really really hope i get to do TBG. i do..=)

today is maintenance day..
i went to groom myself.
deep conditioned hair, put face mask, and was cleaning off my nail colour.
i multi tasked.
PRO rite?
and it was done lying down cos of the mask..
haha. so my cleaning of nails were in the air..

ok! i'm going off!
bye bye!

the garden in my heart.messed.
12:52 AM

|Thursday, June 05, 2008


words cant describe how freakin happy i am mann...
like i just finsihed o levels or something.

past few days have been horrible..
i've been stuffing myself with facts and theories and hell lot of unknown stuff..
i practically memorised them even if i didnt understand.
i swear.. no more last minute studying.
i almost died!

today was AWSOME!!.
my classmates and i went to catch the long-awaited NARNIA prince caspian..
my fren said' hey lets go watch prince LESBIAN' haha!
hhmm.. i would rate the movie 8/10!
firstly the main leads are f-?$#&* CUTE!
the storyline was arranged in a very special way..
there were lots of explaination though..
and i had a hard time during the 'war'..damnn. so sad=(
but like always, there's a happy ending. so i felt better...=))

later we went starbucks to chill..
mann... i really feel like a huge burden off my shoulders.
now i'm just happy, excited and happy.haha.. lousy vocab.. but you get wat i mean la ah..

cant wait for sunday.
got LATIN!!!!!!! woohoo!
and got TBG!!!!!!!!
i so excited for those performin!
good luck guys! yall can do it mann!=)

dunno wat to do now.
but i'm happy! haha.

the garden in my heart.messed.
7:08 AM