[Verse 1]
Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's to late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take the time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you


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|Thursday, October 30, 2008

Its been a week for me.
mental and emotional exhuastion..
i'm just so tired.

i was really looking forward to friday.
but i guess we're all tied up. so its gonna be home for me.=)
maybe it wont be a bad thing. i get to rest more.

Mel commented on my dance yesterday..
she say i look better now wen i dance..
hahahahh! wat a way to describe..
well, i guess dropping so many performance wasnt the wrong choice then.
tts assuring. thanx =)

well, i do feel tt life is going slower now..
i breathe better and my cough is starting to get better.

I was suppose to do my song mixing now..
but well i cant.
cos wen i went to check my e mail
i had nothing!!!!
so with no song, no timeline mix wat?
ok la.. also good. i can go sleep =)

i hope the next few days will be happier.

who says a heart of metal cannot feel pain?
i think just takes longer tts all.
it like acid corrodes the doors slowly and then finally reaches the heart.
but while it seeps in, all you feel is anger.
thats my conclusion.

Today's client briefing was interesting..
DID YOU KNOW.. food republic, JCO, Din Tai Fung, toast bread are all under bread talk?
i bet the chair person is freakin rich!
i wanna be like tt someday.
or maybe my husband..

School is really starting to catch up.
i aint dreading it yet... i kinda like it.

kk! meeting my HH3 later.
its time for me to sleep now.

the garden in my heart.messed.
1:10 AM

|Sunday, October 26, 2008

Hi! i'm back bloggin for the second time today!

hahha. i'm bored. and i actually have alot to say. =)

=) hope iris and beau enjoyed as much as me.
but for now, my back needs some rest. so soreeeeeee -.-

I watched the news today...
nothing but continuos strings of bad news..

i asked myself randomly the other day.

how would you picture this world in the far future... sayy yr 3000?
i somehow, could only see red skies and a devasted land,
with no living humans.. probably too hot for any to survive.

i believe the world has stages. just like how dinosaurs perished.
it'll happen to us too.
i hust hope for now, we can learn how to love the earth.

i'm really feeling the effects of global warming and i'm sure you all do too.
dont you wish it can all stop?

Also on the news there were soo much food scandal stuff.
now in japan as well!
oh no.....

then it was the financial crisis part.
alot of singaporeans aint feeling it yet i guess..
we're just alarmed. tts all..

i wanna hear good stuff on the news..
soo much bad stuff is just too overwhelming.
i'll just turn it off.

i was flipping through all the pictures and i saw many pictures of my dog wen he was younger.
you can tell the difference. he looks diff now compared to last time.

this was when he first entered our lives..

this is probably he's FATEST point in life...

he loved to wear that shirt to sleep every night. no fail whenever we wanna put it on. =)

Every chinese new year i'll make him take funny shots. here are some...

Yea. every year he gets new clothes. just like us. =))

Probably eveyrone who comes to my place will not like this fella here, but tts only cos yall see the angry side of him. he's doing he's duty rite? hahahha.

funny thing is yall probably wont expect him to be very insecure. but he is extremely insecure.he cannot stand not following someone. and he chooses who to follow. primarily dad me and sis.he does not like mummy cos mummy is the most irritating master. HAHAHA.

This is him more recently..

That was taken yesterday..

hahaha. he still looks young actually. but he's really old now.

cant hear. cant really see.

but he can still EAT ALOT.


there's dance tmr.

gotta get some rest now.


the garden in my heart.messed.
8:28 AM

|Saturday, October 25, 2008

first week of 2.2 flew past like that.
its really freaky some times...
to think i''ve done half my poly education.

i should say the first weeek was kinda fun.
i really missed my classmates. and funny lectures..

prolonged sickness helps you lose weight!
BUT. i wouldnt reccomend it.
god give me a new pair of lungs mann..
i pant so easily while dancing now. =/
it aint good at all...
i need to recover.

4 performances in 3 week?!?!?!
i dunno.

i wanna blog more about my osaka.
still waiting for thr pictures..

dad bought a new cam.
its kinda for me.
my god.... i feel damn bad.

dance was fun yesterday. =)
cos it was an an's class. ahhaha!
my calves hurt like shit now...
and my back get sore everytime i change my body position.
oh wells.
its the price you pay?

dad's been funny this few days...
i think he's trying the lighten up himself.
i told him don unlock the car door wen he's standing so far from the car.
wat if someone goes in and tries to steal things.
he said..
'then i lock him back in again lo!'

wa lao. damn funny.

the garden in my heart.messed.
10:46 PM

|Wednesday, October 22, 2008

its 1.30am and i still wanna blog. =)

i'm really happy today!
cos i went shopping!!!

thnks kat for the company..=)

i bought lots of stuff mann..
but i still spent less than 100.
we shopped at china townn.. wooohoo!
cheap stuff! i got....

-a dress
-2 necklace
-a bracelet
-2 belts ( self made! )
-hair oil essence ( the aunty gave me lots of small samples with it. )
-a scarf

i was also very tempted to try the DR. FISH therapy they had at ppl's park complex.
you know the one wear the fishes will eat your dead skin cells?
i was actually quite keen to try.
especially cos dancing has made my feet corse and hard.
but i scared pain!!
nvm.. next time!

i also wanna show off wat i got for my birthday!

- a gypsy skirt
- a bangle
-oil burner from the body shop
- green tea oil essence also from the body shop super nice! i tried it today.
-strawberry exfoliater also also from the body shop.
-an eye shadow kit
-3 paris of earrings from my maid.. ( so sweet rite)
-cards! ( all i like alot)
-a fancy mask. haha!
and cash from mum granny and aunty.

cant wait for dad to be home then we can celebrate my birthday with THE ICE CREAM CAKE.=P
and my new phone too.

october rocks mann!

got sch tmr!

the garden in my heart.messed.
10:30 AM

|Monday, October 20, 2008

day 1 of 2.2 wasnt that bad...
i was happy to see all my frens.
i've been going to sch everyday for the holidays and its really boring!
so... wat i'm trying to say is..


today was kinda a sad day for me?
cos i was suppose to get fired for my tuition officially.
but thanx to my frens in school..
and dance babies for the movie after school...
it got my mind occupied.
so wasnt too caught up with feeling sad. =)

sometimes wen you put your heart and effort into something,
you'd expect good returns. or to be appreciated at least.
i guess its different this time..
pampered girl.. sacked me cos i gave her 'too much' homework.
i'm not angry.. i'm just sad. cos i really commited to her.

bei said ' some times we shouldnt put too much of ourselves into other ppl's biz'
i guess i really understand it now.

i was on my way to her place and i was feeling lots of stuff.
but mostly just sadness?
i jay-walked, and almost fell into a deep drain.
i smiled. like... 'hey! i'm blessed! i didnt fall in. =)'
somehow tt incident turned my feelings around.
like i should be happy. cos they are at a loss? like which tutor will try so hard for her student?
hahahah! and showing them that i'm happy probably would twitch their nuerons and make em think more.
i knocked on her door and passed her the answer sheets, then i told her to study hard and walked away ( happily)
when i reached the bottom of the stairs a slight breeze blew past me but it felt goooood.
i suddenly felt to relieved and so free from exhaustion.
damn, i should have done this earlier! =D

i really grateful for my birthday this yr?
like.. i've always pictured my 18th birthday to be a splash. the party of the month! etc.
but truth is.. few days before my birthday..
i just felt nothing. i didnt feel excited. i wasnt even looking forward to it.even until the day before...wierd huh?.
but.. thanks to my dance babies once more.
they made it so fun... so much more then i ever wanted.
surprising me in my KITCHEN?!?! hahahhahahaa
and ganging up with my MUM?!?!? wat were yall thinking mann! HAHA!
my dad laughed soo hard wen i told him over the phone on sunday...
nelson asks me to tell mum she's dope.
she says thanks nel.
thanks guys.
plus. all the wishes from frens frens frens.
just made me happier. =)

after they left. i went to mum for a huggg.

MC: eyy mummy. how does it feel carrying me like since the day i was born and like now?
mum: -didnt reply-
MC: feels big rite?
MUM: yar. you see la.. last time can carry within my chest. now your butt and lower half is like hanging out from my chair.
MC: hhaahahha..
MUM: but you'll always be my sweetie pie. =)
MC: yea. =)
MC: eyy.. can i go clubbing?
MC: why... i'm legal already!
MUM: no.
MC: wa.. fine.. i shall be childish then............eyyy. when can i go??
MUM: -no reply-


the garden in my heart.messed.
7:54 AM

|Sunday, October 19, 2008


i'm legal! finallyy.

eyy KAT wait no more!! hahaha. LADIES NIGHT here i come. =D

yesterday night was AWESOMELY FUNNY.

my dance babies surprised me in MY KITCHEN!!!

and the funniest thing is they TEAMED up with my MOTHER.

hahah!. so funny. i was still complaining to my mum wen she kept asking me to go get something for her immediately. plus we were in the middle of a ghost show!

then wen she finally realised that making me get something for wouldnt work she said 'ahh. okok. accompany me can?' Then i was still like ' eyy. you watch ghost show then scared rite...' HAHAA! wth. but anywaes. it was the best thing ever. =)

thank you dance babies who probably had to cab home and thank you BEI and FATTY SHEEP for driving to make their transport easier. =)


as for now, i free and wanna do my OSAKA TRIP!

third day was the day i most awaited...

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS! wooohooooooooooo!!!

we woke up early had light breakfast ( you wouldnt wanna puke hald way on the roller coaster right?!) then our tour bus took us to the destination. there were hell lot of school students there! so cool la. SINGAPORE STUDENTS where got go theme park for excursion. kns. we don even get to go escape theme park wat more UNIVERSAL STUDIOS?!!?!

anywae, some interesting facts. universal studios is rather young at osaka. and when they just started, they aimed to hit 8 million visitors in a year. however. they managed to hit that target in just 8 MONTHS!! tt means a freaking 1MILLION VISITORS in 1 MONTH! wth!

WE, wenjie sze hui daryl sam jijie meichin hanged out together=) we took in total 5 rides! tt was considered one of the best already KAY.. some only did 2. haha! aiyo...

sometimes i cant believe we actually qued 70mins for a 2 min ride. hard to believe huh? but everyone does it. some how i question... like isnt there a better way? so ppl don have to que so long? but i guess it benefits the company also la. they get to maximise the ride to its capacity.

the best ride of the DAY probably would be the very first one we took. its called HOLLYWOOD somethin something something. hahah! but that rollercoaster went round over half the theme park. and it was super exhilerating. SUPER. I SWEAR. haha plus. they had a pretty shiok sound system which bblast your choice of music during the entire ride. WE LOVED IT! =D

the funniest ride of the day would go to the SNOOPY KIDS RIDE. haha. obviously we were too grown for that, but AHH who cares?!? plus it was funny cos we met nick nam all infront of the que just wen they were about to hop onto the roller coaster. HAHAH. and nick actually shouted 'KAO BEI AHHHH' when the roller coaster swept past us, my goodness! i just laugh everytime i think of that. haha! =)

the most worrying ride of the day.. i guess should be the back draft. its actually kinda like a show more then a ride. they put you through the effects of this movie which is about firemen. so there were lots of heat and smoke and water effects. super great. i was worried not cos of the fire. but cos infront of our row was a group of handicapped children.. they're conditions are not the usual we see. most of them had 2 adults attending to one child. and i was soo afriad the effects would hurt their health or something? i was super scared wen i saw one of them coughed. it was like he's entire lungs were pushing and forcing so hard.. =/ i dunno how to explain it here. horrible.

the sweetest ride.. would be JURASSIC PARK. hahhaa. cos SAMANSARII darling sacrificed herself to get wet instead of me. HOHOHO AND WET SHE WAS. but ok la we dried up quite quickly rite? IT WAS FUN SHIT THOUGH. espeically DARLY'S EXPRESSION in the candid picture. everyone's faces had like the extreme botox but he put on he's hoodie and posed like some suicide bomber. HAHAHA. DAMN FUNNY. bomb wat? the jurassic boat isit? hahahahah.

the best BEST ride.. haha (i have limited vocabulary...) was spiderman. worth the wait of an hour plus. it was super good. loved the effects. everything was IN YOUR FACE. funny wen darly and wenjie shouted at spidey to throw back the bomb at green goblin. HAHAH.

well.. thats bout it already. PICTURE TIME BABEH!!

more pictures to come!

the garden in my heart.messed.
12:46 AM

|Wednesday, October 15, 2008


i wouldnt say tt whole nissin thingy was very interesting... but well. of cos we benefitted from it.

i saw the entire process of how your cup noodles is made. =D

HEY! cup noodles NAMED AFTER ME! =D

next was LUNCCCCCHHHHHHHH woohhooooo!!!!!!!

presenting to you...


EYY! LONGEST DAO GE I'VE EVER SEEN!! longer than my bowl, see!

Later that night we had our first shopping trip!


what a unique way to sell your products. 'alittle trouble price down.'

Dinner was DELICIOUS again. simple food but it was damn good. i have no idea wat the food is called. but it is GOOD I TELL YOU! thanx to joy! cos i saw her inside. so must be good food cos she said something like her instructor introduced her to some place. heh heh heh. =D

sam had some really nice nice CREAM PUFFS! =P good stuff as well..
the higher-end shops at shin sai bashi
And when we were tired enough we went to take a train home. first time in the subway! wooohoooo! so exciting! =DD

on the subway.

oh. can you see that Mcdonald advertisment at the back? haha! the MC RIBS IS NICE NICE NICE!! we also tried their mcPORK and Mc Shrimp. all very nice!!!

our hotel =)

sam bed is on the left. mine's obviously the messy one. haha.


thats all for osaka today..

casting was a wake up call.

i realised i cant freestyle. i really cant. why?

i wanna be able to freestyle.

i probably wont get the casting job. i wasnt very cooporative.

and i just lost my current job.

oh well. jobless. bad economy. -.-

TMR is the DAY. for my hh3 babies.

i've put my heart into choreographing a nice piece. and i hope you guys liked it.

tmr's they day yall will take the stage.

i feel that yall are ready for it. =)

so no worries! everything will be GREAT! =D

i probably should go to sleep now. =)

sam in mismatched slippers will say GOODBYE!!

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:00 AM