the mess in my heart

|Friday, August 29, 2008

zzzz.
i just got back my pessimistic illness.

the world is UGLY.
and so are the things that happen on it.
plus. there is NOTHING you can do about it.=)
the world was NEVER fair... ppl just tried to make it fair by implementing laws..
HA. HA. it still isnt fair and wont be fair.

i shall not elaborate more or this ugly world might use my words against me.
GOODBYE WORLD.

i'm gonna drift to my dreamland.
not feeling any better.
fcuk.

the garden in my heart.messed.
10:02 AM

|Wednesday, August 27, 2008

YESSS! FINALLY.

BYE BYE MBS, HELLO HOLIDAYS!

Yesterday after the paper we went to have a nice lunch.
later we went home and i slept.
i was expecting myself to wake up at 3?
but then, the next thing i new, it was 6!!
haha.. =)

I got ready and took a bus to O sch.

but....
i decided to take 9 then change to 2.
but i forgot that 9 goes to interchange instead of mrt bus stop. -.-
so... ok, i took 7 from bedok inter.
and guess wat?
i got lost on the bus!.
arrghh. it kept going in rounds.
i go so scared i decided to drop of somewhere near SMU and i walked to O sch.
hence, tt explains why i was late.
wthhhhh... -.-

anywae, i managed to catch up with the choreo.
*pat on my back.
stressful though.
choreo is TOUGH!
SO FAST AND SO MANY THINGS TO TAKE NOTE OF!
gin's gonna be away for some time now, and we're on our own.
OMT. i hope we'll do just fine.

GOOD NEWS.

we've decided on the costume already.
i like it. except for the shorts part.
i dont like the idea of my fatty tigh jiggling when i dance. -.-

HOLIDAY

HOLIDAY

HOLIDAY.

=D
i have soooooo many things i wanna do.

SO MANY.
of all i wanna shop most. BUT. i gotta save money for OSAKA.
anywae, mum offered to give me a sum of money.
which is MORE then i expected.
i don wanna take though.
we'll see how my saving goes first.
love you mummy!

and as of today, i have 200 in my OSAKA FUND. =)
good eh!
credits to ah gong!
cos he strike 4D.!! and he decided to give me and ang bao. hehehhe...
and since its the end of the month, that means daddy will be giving me new allowance.
i think, i'll save half of it.
tuition pay will be coming in 3 weeks!
and i'll 3/4 of it.
it wouldnt make up the 400, but maybe some other lobang here and there can fill it in.
then mummy's fund will come in handy!
she told me to bring at least 1k.
i was like *shock shock shocked!
oh well. i wont eat good stuff there.
cup noodles will do. =)

the garden in my heart.messed.
8:00 PM

hello!
i'm back!

to complain!

MBS SUCKS
SUCKS
SUCKS
SUCKS
SUCKS!!!

=( and i'm having a freakin outbreak!
concealer first the lipstick form then the liquid form
then put a lyaer of liquid foundation on top
and finally loose powder.

OMG.
so thick!
of cos out break la!
but wat to do.. =/
i can imagine all my swaet and face oil stuck under that blanket of powder for hrs
and my skin suffocating and choking.
=(
and now they are showng me their appreciation by popping red on my face.

i rather be the the HULK now.
at least he doesnt have pimples.
ARRGHHH.

and i wanna say it again..
MBS SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I'LL BE THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON EARTH TMR.

SCREW YOUR NEH NEH MBS!

the garden in my heart.messed.
1:21 AM

|Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I feel like the HULK thanx to MBS.
i wanna throw cars into the air and i wanna RIP ppl apart.

aarrghh.
come on! one more freakin day!!

i had nightmares for mbs, believe it or not.
its like i dreamt twice, i didnt study for mbs at all.
i'm afraid it'll happen =(
not as bad at the dreams but maybe some where there. =/

HOLIDAY MOOD already cann.. -.-
and half my brain is constantly thinking about dance. both SUNTEC and LATIN.
dddaaannggg..
boring...

and my back hurts.
i feel old. like 70 yrs old.

ok. i shal really stop ranting. ppl will get bored.

INTERESTING STUFF.
i've decided to START saving for OSAKA!
according to sam 400 is minimum. and so 400 it'll be.
hopefully, mum will give me some pocket money!
but i wont take from dad. NO NO..
cos he's already paying the 2k.
ok.. so supposedly i have 230+ 120a month, and there's only...
OMG. 1 AND HALF MONTHS LEFT!!!!!!!!!.
die... how to save 400. -.-

anybody wanna donate to the 'bring-mei-chin-to-osaka' funds?
every cent makes a difference! ^.^

i hope i get the same bunk as SAM!
at least so i dont have to sleep with someone i'm not close too.
i have ugly sleeping habits. U.G.L.Y ( sry to my bunk mate in advance) haha.
but i think in the end i think we'll end up hoping rooms to play dai di or stupid games.
hahah!

i wanna go shopping!
i wanna wear pretty clothes and put a break to baggy, non-body flattering t shirts.
i wanna eat ice creammmm.
hhmmmp!
screw you MBS.

back to study.
bye!

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:55 PM

|Sunday, August 24, 2008

We held each others hands so tight, bit our lips...

and the last team to join them in the finals...

'REVOGUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

OMG.

OMFG.

it was super unexpected.

we tot we were so gone....

we cried. we cried badly...

yes we wanted it... we wanted it sooo much!

Congrats to the independent crew for gettin in too =)

and to URBAND STANCE, you guys were great. you all did well...

i wanna express my heartfelt thanks to the guys.

somehow i feel that without you all we wouldnt have made it.

i must share this with the world...

one spot left on the finals. and emcee asked the audience to guess who it is...

the guys all shouted reVogue...

and we in turn shouted urban stance..

that moment was so so so heart warming... i cant describe in words itself...

and for the entire journey, i guess that will be one thing i'll nv ever forget. =)

as all of us held hands together to pray before the competition..

i feel, to some extent you guys have deserved the place more than us...

i promise we'll make the finals a smashing one. for you all, for tpde.

thanks thanks you bei serene and all the other tpde ppl who came to support as well..

thanks to mum and dad for being so understanding..

i've neglected my family for these past few weeks.a nd the thought of tt hurts.

Since we've made it this far,

i'm really so keen to make the finals a smashing one..

credits to senior royston for the pictures! =D

the garden in my heart.messed.
7:42 AM

|Thursday, August 21, 2008

I suddenly need to learn so many things...=(

well, suntec dance has really opened my eyes.
and i think my mentality is different now.. i finally understand when they say focus on the process.
today we learnt new steps.
somehow, now i dont feel tt worried anymore.
TMR. we'll be bringing 3 totally different styles to the stage.
and even if we don make it to the finals, i'm happy with wat i've acheived.
don get me wrong, i've not given up yet. not now.
and TMR, we'll all shine like the brightest star in the galaxy.

As a performer, a competitor, who do you need to please?
ans is : NO ONE.
being a perfromer is as similar as being yourself.
lvoe yourself, before others can love you.
love your dance, the thing you do, before you expect the judes/audience to love you.
amazing eh?
i've always tot you need to make the judges like you.
yes. but not by changing who you are.

reVogue.
we are unique, and we are able to take up just any style gin gives us.=)
cools.
so we're not gonna be like other grps. we're not gonna have breath taking stunts, or extremely amusing choregraphy. we're just gonna dance.
dance itself is the thing we'll just do. =D

i think i need to learn how to work with people.
i needa improve on that.
i also gotta learn how to think for the grp and not for myself.
and i've gotta stop being so pessimistic!!
think positive. the impossible can be possible.

technique wise,
i guess of cos control, and to let go..
being girls, we're naturally more conservative.
well, i guess we've just gotta let go and flow with the music.
i'm one step closer to wat i wished last yr.=)
i wished the music and i can be ONE.

we're not done with choreo, and formation and music.
tmr is the day.
we can do it. =)
we CAN.

the garden in my heart.messed.
12:50 PM

|Tuesday, August 19, 2008

blogging.=)
i actually didnt want too.. but i came across something.... **interesting...

they are my competitiors...
THEY SUPER BITE(COPY) KABA MODERN.
DANNGG... I WAS LIKE WTH?!

EXACT SAME SONG SOOMME MOORREEE!
no originality? no creativity? not respectable.
bye Ls.

the garden in my heart.messed.
10:07 AM

|Sunday, August 17, 2008

INDEPENDENT CREW

REVOGUE

URBAN STANCE

err..

well......

WE'RE ALL GOING TO THE SEMI FINALS!!WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Should say, it was a terrible experience for us on heats 1.

so many many many things just went wrong.

i cried 4 times in one day=( record breaking, life event.

well, the day didnt start rite becos we trained till 2.30am and by the time we're reached home, packed our stuff and in addition i had to mix music again, i slept at 5am.

worse still, i had to wake up at 7 to send my aunty and cousin off.

so in the end, i had only 3 and a half hr of sleep.

we met up at 11 in O sch. but then most were late although we promised each other.

my heart sank deeply.
ANYWAES. things were settled. and i'm glad... i just feel i understand you girls more. =)

At the competition area, just wen joyce and i were about to buy our mcflurry ice cream, i got a call from joey, asking us to return immediately. our cd with the song inside was corrupted.

before that wen joey was about to send the song from my comp to the phone, my comp died. and my mp3 was extremely low on bat. so with the thumbdrive me and iris tried asking the dj if they have a computer.

no. they didnt, and the only way was for us to go to e-life on second floor to borrow a computer to burn. while trying, i realised it was the wrong song. =/

in other words, the only correct song is in my dead computer.

so we manage to bring the comp up there and borrowed an adapter. then the burning began.

first cd burned, corrupted.
second cd burned, corrupted.
we were on the verge of mental break down. =(
then finally we decided to send to kat's phone.

back at the dj stand everything was fine until we realised that if a phone call or msg comes in, we are dead shit. thankfully one of us new the functions of going offline. and tt, saved the day..

our stress level was soo high. everything was just so wrong. its like holes in a swiss cheese. just sooooooo coincidently, all holes are parallel till you can look through thei entire cheese. tts how coinidental things were.

thanks so much for raaz and roy going up there to see wat they can help us with. and for the rest of the girls waiting, it must have really been tough on you all, to be able to know but not help.

thankfully. really. thankfully.

the dance was ok.

feedbacks are that our energy level was quite constant and that steps were messy.
but our facial expressions were dope. extreme and clear.

we made it through.=)

then.. to DINNER!

at astons. =)

nicee.... yum yum.

only 6.50!! some more inclusive of GST k!

----

TODAY.

it was time for independent crew and urban stance.

i must say, the really set the standard for the rest of the competitors.

i'm so proud of you guys!

some random pictures..........

Extremely shhweet guys who came down to support us despite being so tired.

us showing off our hair!owing off our hair
3 diff emotions, ( in ascending order some more)

this picture was taken with the camera on the floor. hahah!

I LOVE TPDE=D

nick asked me to blog about him.

but i wont!

neh ni neh ni poo poo!! =p

Oh yea.. one more interesting thing..

On thursday night i overheard RYAN offering the guys to share studio!

OMG!

i was so shocked. cos it RYAN leh...
the extremely dope and pro pro pro RYAN.
i admire him so much more now.
he's such a respectable person.
i wanna be like him. humble.

RYAN rocks..

ok.. i need to catch up on my sleep.

i'm having uneven eyelids.
an obvious sigg of sleep deffieciency.

good nite world.

the garden in my heart.messed.
10:27 AM

|Monday, August 11, 2008

i havent been blogging for quite some time.
busy busy busy.

i have so many things in my head that i wanna do at every sec that goes by..
some how i wish i could slpit myself up.
1 go sleep, another do find costume, another study, another practice dance, another go for spa, another go for games, another watch OLYMPICS!
-.-

ya rite..
it will nv happen.

anywaes, i realised i have so many events to share.
coming up after my last paper on wed. would be..
JUN WEI'S 21ST BIRTHDAY
fRANKS'S BIRTHDAY AND RHR OUTING.
SUNTEC VIDEOS.
MORE DREAMS CONCERT PHOTO AND VIDEOS.
NATIONAL DAY OUTING=)

coming sooooooooon.
wait for me! =D

good luck to myself for later's MR paper which i have totally no idea wat it is about.
bye.

the garden in my heart.messed.
12:48 AM

|Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Yesterday was a happy day.

i screwed my FAOM paper.
i slept during the 1hr paper cos i my eyes really couldnt open!
and in the end, a 10 mark question, i only wrote 3 sentences.
i gues my gardes will drop like falh from the previous one..

Consumer Behaviour presentation.
it was worse of all.
i guess mostly cos it was my fault.
i couldnt do the slides finish by tues night cos i was stuyding for my FAOM.
and on wed morning, i was gonna do during lab, but NARA went to 'lock' the computers.
On top of that we were the first grp, and we did have a single run through.
and so...
everything was quite bad.
or at least my part.
i didnt know what the hell i was talking..

HOWEVER.
it was a happy day.
thanx to dance =)
serene and i went for rahim's session for fun.
and yea. it was fun..
and there was extra entertainment wen SOMEone had SOME misfortune fall on him.
haha!
i could catch the steps too.
and of cos, it was nice choreo..
stres free, pressure free dance. where did all this go?

anywae, later its back to training.
work hard girls!
we'll make it to the finals!=D

the garden in my heart.messed.
12:15 AM

|Sunday, August 03, 2008

AAhhhhh!
FAOM exam tmr.
i dunno why the hell i'm still blogging..
its gonna rain =)
i can finally wear my new hoodie i bought like damn long ago?! =D

I kept thinking about what Patrick said.
someting bout we not having a strong image.
i agree i guess.
GIN says she'll create an image for us.
i suddenly feel more relieved..=)

Yesterday was a horrid day.
i had a huge fight with mum. =/
first time in my life, i literally shouted every single word i said to her.
i dunno what got over me.
and i know i shouldnt have. =(
i skipped latin.
just because of that fight=(

oh wells.
i don wanna talk about it anymore.

i feel like alot of people are reading my blog.
and.
i dont know if its ok to let you all know some of the things i write in here.
wat if you guys go gossip behind my back?
'meichin is a bitch! she shouted at her mum!"
' Are you serious? wa lao.. she got no respect."
"she ought to be struck by lightning'
i dunno.
something like tt?

should i make my posts private? and only for ppl whom i feel i can trust?
i realised blogs have become a way for others to know you.
but of cos since its not a proper conversation, certain things may be perceived wrongly.
trrue? true.....

i was youtubing cos i'm a youtube person (hahaha)
and i found this dope shit.

* notice the combination of sharp then super slow moves.

* the extremely controlled foot work

* the emotions

Presenting my idols: Micheal and Joanna......

Question: how many times did you blink wen you watched them?

their stage presence is so freaking strong!!!

time to study.

bye bye.

the garden in my heart.messed.
8:48 PM

|Saturday, August 02, 2008

YAY... we made it through=)

it was a very tensed, heart exhilerating ride as we waited for the verdict.
we held hands, bit our lips and waited eagerly for our grp names to be called..
"reVogue!"
we all screamed with joy.
but.
it didnt last long cos the other 2 grps were not called yet..
in my mind.. 'oh no! they are so good... wat if they didnt get in??'
the emcee announced the final grp.
huh? =(

then someone said.. don worry still got sunday slot.
but, it was scary because for solo category, they announced according to audition sequence.
and the 2 teams were infront of us.
we all were not feeling good...

then after some stewpid announcements, they continued with the verdict.
waited.
waited.
waited.
'URBAN STANCE!!' wwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
and.. "THE INDEPENDENT CREW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" wwwwwwwwwooooooooooooooooooooo!
my heart jumped over my lungs!

YEA BABY!
WE'RE ALL INNNNNNNN!! =D

aites.
time to work harder...
i feel, the auditions were quite bad for me.
i made hell lot of mistakes.
and i know i could have done better..

its gonna be a tough fight.
the others teams are dope!

we'll make it through girls..
like wat i said..
we'll just do that thing we do. =)

the garden in my heart.messed.
9:04 AM